Bonus envy — Bankers need love not money, writes Lucy Kellaway
Normally, if someone was to give me a large sum of money, say £1m or so, I’d be quite pleased. But if I was an investment banker, I probably wouldn’t be. Just like the thousands of them who at this time of year will be receiving more than £1m, I’d be eaten up with insecurity, envy and greed.
The bad interviews come later in the day and last longer. The recipients will be dismayed. A 28-year-old analyst protested to his boss last week that he really couldn’t live on less than $1m and that a swanky flat had been bought in expectation of something much bigger. “That’s not a bonus! It’s a tip!” another distraught banker exclaimed last year on hearing this his “number” was $250,000.
Over magnums of Bollinger, news of others’ numbers come spewing out. And then, human nature being what it is, any initial pleasure quickly goes flat. A $4m bonus may seem insulting if someone else is rumoured to have got $4.5m.
I read this article last year, in a sunny day. I remember thinking that I had finally discovered how Tiffany’s could make money — there were lots of people full of money. But looking at the same article now makes me wonder about the ironic turns in life.